My contribution to the Problogger pagerank slam competition

Posted by stuart as pagerank, google

Darren at Problogger recently ran a competition to see who could come up with the best graphic/slogan/childish moan representing the turmoil the webmaster community (and really, does anybody but webmasters care?) went through over the google-slapping a lot of us seem to have received as a result of selling links on their sites.

I know I’m a bit late, but I thought I’d give it a try anyway…..

Wonder if I would have won had I entered this?

Thanks for the hand job google

Posted by stuart as pagerank, google

Been bitch-slapped by the goog in the latest hysteria filled gnashing of teeth over the paid links penalty?

I got lucky, google gently blew in my ear as she slowly slid (…oops, wrong blog!) me up from a 3 to a 4 here, and a few other increases at various assorted blogs and sites.

I’ve given my thoughts previously on the whole paid links and google rankings thing, they haven’t changed.

You can bet your sweet ass that the folks at Payperpost and ReviewMe are pissing themselves laughing now that all the smart advertising money is moving away from paid links.

So what’s next on the hitlist for the rampant megalomaniacs at the ‘plex?

Blog comments.

Here’s something I prepared earlier:

Yet we persist with this fantasy that Google’s not smart enough to work out that those little bits at the bottom of blog posts with links where the names are have been left by the person who’s blog they point to?

By the definition of pagerank, a link is considered by Google to be a “vote” for the site it points to. For Google to allow people to vote for themselves would be just plain stupid.

So even if Google’s allowing these links to count for something now, you’d better believe that the day is coming where blog comments will be devalued as a source of pagerank.

Seriously people, it’s coming - don’t say I didn’t warn you…

OZCode - an extension to lolcode?

Posted by stuart as Cool tech

The original lolcode script:

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE “LOLCATS.TXT”?
AWSUM THX
VISIBLE FILE
O NOES
INVISIBLE “ERROR!”
KTHXBYE

Now for the OZCode version:

G’DAY MATE
GIVE US A CRACK AT STDIO WILL YER?
WHILE YER THERE, FLIP  THE LID ON  “LOLCATS.TXT” CAN YER?
CHEERS MATE
LET’S HAVE A GANDER AT THAT FILE WILL WE?
FUGGIT, SUMMIN’ BROKE!
CHUCK UP ON THE SCREEN: “YOU BROKE SOME SHIT, I TOLD YOU YOU SHOULDN’T BUGGER AROUND WITH IT!”
QUITTIN TIME - BEER ME!

How might this script be written in other parts of the world?

A true synonym replacer at work…

Posted by stuart as stupid

Stuart histrion is the someone of the favourite PimpMyPageRank blog, which deals in every issues technology, especially content, and income, procreation in the online world.

The joys of using a synonym replacer without checking the output content.

I found the above on a site which is taking ezinearticles.com articles, running them throught the synonym replacer then publishing them on the blog.

What the original actually says is as follows:

Stuart Drew is the owner of the popuar PimpMyPageRank blog, which deals in all issues technology, especially content, and income, generation in the online world.

Anybody up for a little “online procreation?”

lolcode - lol!

Posted by stuart as Cool tech

HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
PLZ OPEN FILE “LOLCATS.TXT”?
AWSUM THX
VISIBLE FILE
O NOES
INVISIBLE “ERROR!”
KTHXBYE

How’d you like to be able to code like this?

Now you can!

LOLCODE to the rescue!

Sweeeeeeet!