May
What to do when someone tells you you suck
Mrs. PimpMyPageRank get off the phone to her sister tonight and told me an interesting story.
Her sisters’ son (11 year old) had been told by his teacher to make a mothers day card for his mother telling her how she could be a better mother.
My first reaction was “what the hell?”, and the more I thought about it, the more wrong I came to think that this approach was. Surely the teacher would have been better to get the kids to write in a card about why they loved their mum, not what she needed to change to be deserving of that love.
Anyway, you can imagine the shock to a whole slew of mothers this morning upon opening their cards to discover what their kids really thought of them!Criticism is something that nobody likes receiving, especially criticism of the unsolicited kind. Those who have been reading this blog for a while will know that my inability to accept criticism is legendary, even criticism that was deserved.
So how do we deal with the situation where somebody has criticised us? Yesterday I wrote about some reasons your blog might suck. I know some of the blogs I read use some of the techniques I wrote about. I’m also aware that somebody could write a list as long as your arm on things that suck about this blog. Some readers here might take offence at what I’ve written, and whilst I feel uncomfortable about upsetting people who I have respect for, I guess they’re welcome to come here and have a crack back at me.
I thought a while ago about posting here, asking people what they thought needed to be improved around here to provide a better user experience. I whimped out in the end, thinking that I probably wouldn’t be able to handle the criticism. This is what surprised me with Mark’s response to my offer to review other blogs for free.
One specific, if I’m allowed, I prefer criticism of my blog. Only because i learn alot more from criticism than I do from googoo gagaga.
Wow. I’m not sure I’d be saying that to someone like me!
So how do you accept criticism? Would you take it on the chin and learn from it? Would you lash out like I did in the above mentioned post? Would you just ignore it and move on?
5 comments so far
“I’m not sure I’d be saying that to someone like me!” LOL
I used to have a really hard time with criticism, I’m slowly outgrowing it, fire away 
The motivation behind the criticism is a big part of things. For instance I know the motivation of your criticism will be helpful and not to put me down.
However, It’s not always clear people’s motivations. Good post, got me thinking.
For instance I know the motivation of your criticism will be helpful and not to put me down.
Methinks you give me too much credit Mark…..
If it’s useful, fire away!
I’m not arrogant enough to think that there’s nothing that couldn’t be improved. Whether or not I actually take action on any criticism depends on how important what’s being criticised is to me.
Of course, there’s a right and a wrong way to deliver criticism.
You know, depending on whether or not I’ve asked for the critique… my emotions would be varied. If it was just a troll looking for some reaction - I might end up getting mad at first. But I’ve come to realize that even though it totally sucks to be criticised… expect it if you open yourself up to to being on the Internet. Especially if you blog. Not everyone is going to agree… and sometimes you have to note they might be linkbaiting or looking for traffic. Some critiques are quite useful - when they’re done constructively. Because sometimes, I can become a little blind to really annoying “sucky” things on my blog - and I’d rather someone told me, and then I could if I wanted to, make the change.
I don’t know if I could handle people agreeing all the time with my thoughts. I like a little feedback - good or bad… or even a touch of ugly. Keeps things exciting!
Whether or not I actually take action on any criticism depends on how important what’s being criticised is to me.
This is a good point Will. If someone comes to me and says “you suck because I don’t like your haircut” it’s likely to bounce off me because I just don’t care. But if someone came to me and said “You suck because you’re a bad parent”, well, that’s another story alltogether.
Empress - good point about opening yourself up by being on the internet. Because there’s not that face to face thing, I think people find it much easier to criticise. I agree too about people agreeing all the time - go have a look at the comments on any problogger post - sycophantic wankers abound! 
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