The complete twits guide to creating a mobile site

Posted by stuart as , , , , ,

Tim Berners Lee has (quite rightly) come out and vented his spleen over the creation of the new .mobi TLD.

So what’s this .mobi thing all about then? Well apparently, content creators are too stupid to realise that mobile content can be placed on any domain (more about this in a minute), and registrars have convinced ICANN that they’ll be able to sell a shitload of these .mobi domain names to add to the stable of .com, .net, .org, .info, .eu and whatever other TLD’s you can think of to businesses trying to protect their corporate identity.

Now, about the technology itself. It’s a little known secret amongst the web development community (and I’m probably going to get death threats for revealing this), that any TLD can host mobile content. There, I said it, and in case you missed it, I’ll say it again - Any TLD can host mobile content!! That’s right, that old .com you have lying around, hell, even the free web space your ISP gives you, will work for mobile content.

As you pick yourself up off the floor, get ready for an even bigger shock - I’m actually going to show you how to do it! Now the big media companies don’t want you to know how to do this, they want to hoarde all those PDA toting, smartphone carrying, yuppie customers to themselves, their fancy mobile content portals, and specially bought .mobi domain names.

OK, so here it is; The Pimp’s ripper guide to creating a mobile content site. Use this information carefully, and please don’t share it with others. This is powerful stuff, and may well change the mobile telecommunications landscape:

1. FTP your way to your server, and create a subdirectory on a domain (let’s call it “domain.com”) called “mobile”, or “text”, hell, call it “granny porn” if you like, it doesn’t really matter
2. Open up your HTML editor, and create a new document. Call this document “index.html”
3. In this document, create a table 160 pixels wide
4. Paste some crap in this table (preferably without too many pictures)
5. Save the document
6. FTP it to your server, in the subdirectory you created in step 1
7. Open up your wireless PDA or smartphone’s browser, point it to www.domain.com/grannyporn
8. Marvel in amazement at how you’ve just created your first mobile content site

Now, you can spend the next few days trying to work out:

1. How you can get rich now that you know this earth-shattering secret, and
2. Why anyone would care.

So there you have it, you now hold the secret to untold riches through the creation of mobile conent sites. It’s not really rocket surgery, is it?