When is blogging just not fun any more?

Posted by stuart as , ,

A former reader of this blog popped in to another of my blogs this morning, arguing the case over a subject that I thought was dead and buried between us.

This left me with an uneasy feeling. I’m a pretty emotional sort of guy (obvious to those who’ve been here a while), and the whole argument over that subject cut me pretty deep. As I said in my other blog, things that happen online do affect us in the real world, and anybody who says they don’t, is either made of stone, or lying.

As my wife and I discussed this over our morning coffee before she left for work, she asked a pretty pertinent question:

Are you still enjoying your blogging? Is it bringing as much pleasure as it did when you started?

I had to admit, the question struck me dumb. I was stumped, and had to go away and think about it for a while.

The answer I came up with after a couple of hours of pondering surprised me.

Not a whole lot at the moment.

Actually, that’s not entirely true, I am enjoying the writing, and the friends I’ve made since I started blogging, but the fights over the last couple of weeks have left me emotionally drained. (I know there are those of you who’ll say I should just “get over it and move on”, but what can I say, these things affect different people in different ways).

It’s more and more obvious (by the number of comments (not) left on posts in this blog in the last week) that I’ve upset more people than just the ones who were so vociferous about the issue. I realise that I’ve created an environment where people are going to be reticent to comment. I see the mistake I’ve made, and apologised to the person concerned. Whether that person chooses to accept that apology is to be seen. (I hope so). I also apologise unreservedly to anybody else I  have upset with my abrasive attitude.

As those of you who’ve been around these parts for a while already know, I have some health issues which are taking a lot longer than anticipated to come to a close. This is not an excuse for my behaviour, rather an explanation for the decision I’ve taken.

It’s time for me to take a step back for a while, and re-assess my priorities. I won’t be posting for a few days, and I’ll then decide whether it’s worth the emotional investment to continue this blog.

If I do decide to continue, I envisage taking a different direction around here. I imagine this becoming more of a personal blog. I’ll still document my efforts to make a buck online, but it will be interspersed with personal thoughts on all aspects of my life, from sport, to politics, family, and my health. But who knows? The next few days will decide which direction I take.

If I do choose to take this direction, I know it will cost me readers, that’s something I’ll have to decide in the next few days whether I’m happy with.

To those friends I’ve made - keep on blogging! To those people I’ve pissed off - I’m sorry, and I hope one day you can forgive me.